Frustration

Source

I am frustrated. 

I have been waiting for a time to blog until I was not frustrated, but I realized that I want this blog to be real. And the reality is that I am frustrated. 

I don't think I've been frustrated for this long in a while. 

Frustration is starting to inhibit my dreams.

This morning between snoozes I had a dream that I yelled at a guy who was speaking too loudly outside my bedroom window before 8am.

I'm starting to shift through and pinpoint the reasons why I'm frustrated, but it's hard when the frustration emotion is so strong and so..there.

I'm just frustrated.

A Confession

I have a confession to make.

In front of all of my readers, I'd like to confess, that in my heart of hearts, my soul of souls, that I am...

A dirty hippie.

Well, maybe not so much the dirty part, but the hippie part for sure.

I see your, "Huh?" faces now!

Let me explain. I don't mean the stereotypical, pot smoking, musk smelling, no underwear wearing, dread rocking, free love giving hippie - I mean the nature lover, up-cycling, living off and giving back to the land as much as possible hippie. In my heart of hearts, I want a natural life with the smallest foot print possible. I feel now I'm too wasteful, with too much clutter and it's cluttering my mind!

But I also want internet and P is a TV freak...so we need to have technology! Maybe we can coin the term Techno-Hippie? :P Ahem, anyway..

I have a dream and in that dream, P and I live in a decently sized house, with a small garden out back, a compost pile, my cats, and simple decorations that are up-cycled/recycled/redone. I want to make my own soaps, shampoos, deodorants, lotions, chapsticks, and candles - and maybe have a side business doing this as well. I would love to figure out how to live as inexpensively as possible but still be able to comfortably pay all the bills that come with having a house.

I have ideas on how to do this (check out my "The Crunchy-Granola Life" pinboard on Pinterest by following the link at the top of my blog), but we need to make some BIG changes first. I plan to do some cleaning out, tossing, selling and giving away starting this week and I hope to document this endeavor here! Stay tuned!

LET THE DE-CLUTTERING BEGIN!

Wish List Wednesday

P and I only have one set of bedding with mismatched sheets for our bed.  It's a hassle to have to wash and dry the SAME set of bedding every week or so when it's laundry day.  Also, since it's laundry day, there is a TON more laundry to do along with the bedding.  So, if we start with the bedding, we usually make the bed in time for sleepy time.  If we make the mistake in washing other things first, we usually end up waiting and waiting for our slow dryer to finish drying the bedding while falling asleep on the couch and drooling like an old married couple.  :P  So for today's Wish List Wednesday, I would like to wish for a new set of bedding.  A set of NICE MATCHING bedding!  Like these:

I think we actually registered for this one...it's just neat looking!  :)

If I had this bedding, our bedroom would feel like a hotel!  :)

This set is just gorgeous!

Although, I would probably be happy with another set of sheets!  :P  Don't forget to check out my sis-in-law's blog for her Wish List Wednesday!

A realization while filing

I hate to share this with the interwebs, and while I'm AT work...

(Excuse me while I answer the phone.)

(It wasn't even for me!  Don't you know I'm busy here?!  :P )

Okay, I'm back - what I want to share is that I realized that have no idea what I'm doing while I'm working.  I am pretty much running on autopilot while doing this job.  I guess it's a good thing because I can really leave work at work.  Honestly, I don't wake up in the middle of the night thinking about work like some of my other coworkers - and I don't understand why they do.  So, I am pretty much faking this job.  I do what I'm told and do it well - but it doesn't take up that many resources in my brain.  Maybe that's it.  I really don't have to think about doing this job anymore.  I'll admit while I was just starting out, it was confusing.  And, when I finally got into a grove, more duties were dumped on me.  Then there were those few weeks when my coworker acted like she hated me because I am now doing her job but she still had to teach me...yeah that was fun.

Anyway, all-in-all, this is a pretty sweet job.  I have an office, windows, access to the Internet, air-conditioning, a boss that lets me work how I want to work as long as I get the job done, benefits, and friendly (usually) coworkers.

Even though this job is pretty good, I still dream of teaching or working with children.  I have ideas for lessons in the middle of the night instead of thoughts about work.  I love back to school time and can't walk past the school supply isle without sighing.  I have boxes of classroom supplies in our storage-type room just waiting to be used.  I kept all my books that had great ideas from my credential classes...

Anyway, I could go on and on...but it's time to go home...Thanks for listening/reading!

A Wedding Update

The wedding plans are going along pretty smoothly.  I think the only thing P and I have left to do is choose the filler music.  We have all the important songs chosen, we just need to build up the playlist for the dancing/mingling part of the reception.  Anyone have any recommendations for good wedding songs?

The invitations have gone out and people are starting to respond.  Speaking of the invitations, I thought I'd share them.  I blocked out all the personal information because...well, it's the internets.  :P

They look better in person, but a scan will have to do.  :P  I designed the invites and then took them to Office Depot and the girl there doctored them up and made them perfect.  She also designed the response cards and printed everything for me.  The venue is The Gardens at Peacock Farms.  Go to their website and check them out.  It's a really beautiful venue that was created especially for weddings.  She thought of everything there is to think about regarding a wedding.  The owner is also doing my flowers!

I am getting excited but to tell you the truth, I'm also a bit stressed.  P and I are just now surfacing from some hard times and am finding the monetary flow more of a trickle than a gush.  It's enough to live off of though, and after a few more paychecks we should be able to really start building a nest egg.  But the wedding and the honeymoon are going to take all our nest egg we have at the moment.  But, we are managing.  To save some money, we scaled down the honeymoon to a few nights in a small bed and breakfast in Morro Bay instead of Disneyland .  We can always go to Disneyland later - or even set our sites higher and work toward a vacation in another country or something like that.  Maybe....Italy!

But Perchance to Dream...

I have been dreaming about a sewing room for some time now.  A place where I can fold up my fabric nicely on shelves so I can actually see what I have instead of having to rummage through a Rubbermaid container every time I want to find a certain fabric.  It would also be nice to have a space where I can leave a  project that is half done out, close the doors and know that nothing is going to happen to it until I come back.  A place where everyone is welcome, but where I can be alone if I wanted.  An inspiring place...something like these:

This room is just so bright and cute.  I think my favorite parts
of this room are the color on the walls and the red lanterns.

This one is just so simple, sophisticated and organized.  It
kind of reminds me of Joscelyn but not just because of the purple.

I think this one is my favorite.  I love the green sheers and the
simplicity of the entire room.  It's not too big, not too small and has
touches of bright colors here and there.  It also has a nice,
relaxed and inspiring feel to it.

If all I had was a closet, I would make something
like this.  I love the tree paper in the background and
all the shelf space.  I worry there isn't enough room
behind the sewing machine though to
actually sew something.